Sunday, February 18, 2007

my fake Danielle Steel Voice

The morning is February 13th and it's gloomy, not just outside but in the depths of my very soul. This isn't any normal day; this is the day I have to get a cap on my tooth -my molar. Oh where has time gone? It seems like just yesterday I had lost that original baby tooth and the tooth fairly visited me in my dream leaving me a shiny fifty cent piece. Now, the years have passed and it shattered on a chip. (yes how messed up is that? oops back to story) I take a deep breath and head out the door to my car and begin driving to what seems a lifetime journey. Memories are flooding back to my last visit. The sounds, the drills, the saw. I feel woozy and I roll down the window as sweat beads up on my forehead. The horror is rushing in my head like the wind is into the car. The last visit I had to get a root amputation. Petty as it may seem, I thought one clip of the root and it would be over.. instead.. oh I can't even speak about it.. I just drive. I can make it. I finally arrive and it seems days or weeks have gone by in just one little drive from Seattle to Bellevue. But alas, I am here. I open the door and get out of the car. The dentist's office smell has leaked out into the fresh air, the noise of the saw clouds my thoughts and I jump as the sound of my own car door being shut startles me. I laugh quietly to myself. My heart beats louder with each step and before I make it to the door, the full memory is being replayed over and over in my head.. First they sliced both sides of the tooth from the top of the gum, to where the root ends, They peel backed the gums exposing all the nerves and that poor root (ten stitches total.) This is where the horror begins, I thought they would have a clipper or some technology, but they had this little saw and it took two long hours of that root to finally detached itself from the rest of the body of the tooth but did it really ever let go?... Sometimes at night I think I can feel it but I am not sure if its my own imagination..

Ok, can't take the voice... even though I am writing it. So I can't imagine reading it.

However my last visit was a root amputation - I have an incredible picture - I won't post it though because someone said I am the ONLY one that thinks it's cool.
Two - this visit seem like a piece of cake compared to last, esp. with the nitrous and the paraffin dip with my hands.

However at the end of the day, my tooth hurt and I needed to go to the wellness center. I showed up so early for my appointment - I decided to run out all the anxiety on a treadmill. The pain was a bit much, so when I finished I was just in more pain and full of anxiety. They shot me up with vitamins in my gluts. Yes. ugh.

I am making my goal to go to the WAC for at least five times a month.

Then next day BACK to the wellness center of Feb 14, talking about knee pain, eating healthier and anxiety. Then I had a tough workout with weights -again anxious but it helped so much. Then off to eat a lot of cheeses to counter balance my workout - but it was VDAY.

Saturday February 17th I hit Tapeworm. D set up drills before and after. It helped a lot. There were a few shortcut I took last time because a secret friend would say "Jill come this way" to catch up me up with everyone. This time, any near chance of a bushwack I had a big road blocker stopping me and said "go around, stay on your bike, you need to learn." TOUGH LOVE.

Anyway.. Sunday- I paddled today for near two hours. Actually it was an hour and 43 minutes. I will blog that in a bit. I have to post pictures and a fun story.

I am going back to Tapeworm tomorrow after my run at Bridal Trails. I told you.. Tapeworm...someone is after you, 3.. 4....

No comments: