The Beast

My confidence was low because Saturday night I was stricken with the top cold of the season. I ran on Saturday too leaving my wee little calves a bit sore.

Then the PMS thing and then the thing.. You feel like every ounce of your soul and blood is just missing.. And you wonder where you will get this energy to do any kind of racing at all.

I let that get in my head a bit.. and it gave me some nerves. WAY too afraid to let D or RVG down.
Once I got to the race, the excitement didn't pick up for me quite yet... everyone was all happy, giddy, throwing jokes back and forth. D was perfectly arranging things.. and I was still stuck inside my head. I wish D and I were joking.. or talking.. but he was organizing.. i was what.. ?Probably doing nothing (shoot to D's blog "I wish JP would do something beside sit there.. maybe like take down her bike or something?")

But when we moved our bikes out to the grass, started getting maps...that's where the magic happened and i got out of my head.. back into the game. The first part was running (more of little sprint) while one teammate would stamp the map with the the three check points in the water. RVG decided to take that task (as well as being the navigator). It was great to run along side D and RVG - then see RVG sprint to the check points. He is fast and has this good energy he carries with him. He also causes furry around him... people say things "like follow Dart" etc.. for check points.
We got back to our bikes rather fast. Shoes, transitions, quick, yet.. my fatal mistake.. that damn extra layer.. when will I learn? I swear I just had this same experience Saturday.. and what? by Tuesday, I am oblivious that with the amount of exercise I am not going to heat up.
so cursed again by the jacket!!! AND I could tell it was a thorn in RVG's side to, cuz his pack wouldn't quite close and he was losing things... and it was just a nuisance. Even looking at the damn jacket, knowing it was mine.. it still looked f-ing sloppy. (The jacket comes back.. don't you worry)... any way, on bikes.. that is where.. the game went off again. I felt this exhaustion i have not felt yet racing.. or anything to this date.. i was warm, thought i was sick and just drained... i was like "I am a minute into this thing..." and then the spiral happened .. back in the head.. and i was like "i hate myself.." but then i looked up and saw Ryan running with my bike and his bike and my body just kicked back up and kept thinking just run, get out of head, who cares your tired, look at what your teammate is doing for you. LOOK.. he's a machine!!! So then when we finally were able to climb back on to the bikes .. I felt good. great. i had confidence.. and i had a new found appreciation for my team comes first, fears and inward thoughts on the back burner.. never again to be found when racing.... so we hit what i would call BLISS or a magical trail.. like the movies.. like the hobbits, harry potter.. that isn't even mystical enough.. but we had to follow these pink flags.. i all of sudden loved the pink flags and got into the groove... i felt i was riding stronger, but I hear, "use your trigger finger.." so i gave it all i got and decided by all my might (remember D is holding up his end -RVG carried my bikes) give it all you have.. and so i did. I came across fear and said, "Pedal Pedal Pedal" and the fear was gone. It was awesome. In fact i know the goal was to get out of the trail... but i could have rode it even longer. I did come down a sketchy hill. Took a few deep falls. Was also proud to watch D. He looked strong. I loved it.

After the bikes, back down to the barn, and let the foot race begin. This is where my knees hurt before my lungs did.. but again.. it was small pain compared to the beginning and then it felt great... there was a point we bushed wacked following RVG's lead.. and it just makes me giggle.. you feel like this little animal out there.. one minute you believe in this race and then you have your cynical side.. thinking WTF? but all in a good way! it's the best game on earth.. i want to play more more more.. and longer.. and stronger.

when we crossed over the bridge and the rain started to come down I felt so alive. not in my head. proud of us. proud of D. loved D. Loved RVG. Thought of JVG and her dad out there, thinking its so great to be alive.

last round of the running, RVG had a bush wacking again to gain lead.. and all instincts had him right, he just didn't know he didn't quite have his little runners in tow. next time. next time.

We got to the barn, more people there then i was hoping (just for placement sake) however the loud cheer and happiness from other AR felt great.

I met friends that i was a TA angel for. Greeted with a PBR.... D still organizing... me still needing attention (back to his blog) -is she ever going to get her gear together.. or just keep on chatting..

it was fun. i want and need to do it again. each time.. i think i didn't work out enough.. how do i work out more???

Oh and that jacket.. RVG finally after jumping down to the river and climbing up was like “Do me a favor and get this sweater off my back.” He did say it in the friendliest way he could, but that thing was a bitch. Remember that!