WAC

One of the new years resolutions I have is to go to the WAC at least five times a month. I think I currently do that now, but I really want to make a point of being there more often for weight lifting and the belly blaster class. I had a great workout -more like most efficient. Today every part of my body is sore. So that is the most important, a good workout!

My gloom is gone, so it is a Happy New Year

I just came off the best high from a bike ride. I was tryng to write about how positive of a coach Hart is but I felt like I was writing an ad. Although I do believe every word I was writing (am I doing it again?) of it to be true. He is so positive it's contagious. I also feel pushed while getting great technique.


We rode for 14 miles averaging about 15 miles an hour - I was on my mt. bike on the road. We hit some great hills, my endorphines were flying. I just feel awesome. We rode down by the water and gusts of wind were snapping at us and I felt really alive. He was like damn that is cold, I was so happy that the wind had no affect on my mental state except making me happier that I was on my bike. I love my bike.


I actually have a list of goals for the year 2007 - and a list of the best of 2006. I will have to write later because I want to use this confidence and ride this high to conquer the Legend of Zelda/Twilight Princess - my wii-mote is just taunting me. I must go.

Peace

Sha-BAMB

There is he coming in like a lightning bolt- taking names and conquering his New Years resolution on day 1 - break a nine minute mile... rocking the house at 8:37. Congratulations.. I heard his next goal is to beat me in a running race. I hired Hart for tomorrow.. friendly competition is over.. it's on!!!!!!

WORRY

will he ever come in? I already dipped - went through finish line.. I am on the look out.. Maybe he changed his mind and actually did the dip in the lake.. nah...I keep waiting...looking.. keep your eyes open.. I'm kind of sad I gave him a hard time. No sign of him yet

Top Ten of my complaints

1-The year becomes 2007 and I wake up....damn it! The same anxiety. Those New Years people.. only the date changes. Its all fake, its not really a new year.. its the next day with the a different date.

2-The man I love is being tortured in the back of ship on the way to Shanghai. It might be worth getting cable because I can't wait for the disc or the season to pass without knowing the status of Jack.

3. Sometimes I have anxiety and I can't point it to anything, this has a direct cause and effect. Something a good medicine can't take away.

DAMN IT (Jack's favorite saying) I can't complain anymore because today was absolutely glorious. My parents were able to watch me run and I wasn't stressed or crying.. I think tears have bled from my eyes (Like the evil character from James Bond) since the week before Christmas. DAMN IT (honoring Jack) -did I just think I was being positive and started whining.. holy cow.. TODAY'S race was glorious! I had fans. My parents, Dawn and Anthony (Anthony is doing the Iron Man in June).


My mom on my right - your left showing support




involving my dad in the race




Yesterday New Years Eve I went Boarding.

I climbed under the chair to get a workout and what a cure! When you can't breath, you really do forget about all of the pain. I also felt this competition, because I wasn't going to be the first one to stop or to say my legs are burning. I have a new camera - I did self photography for boarding and one myself in the car. Did you know I need my eyebrows waxed? I had no idea.. that picture DELETE DELETE DELETED. They aren't growing to a unibrow -they are just about to interfere with my eye lashes.. OH MY GOSH I have a New Years Resolution - get my eyebrows waxed!!! (Thank god, I was starting to feel abnormal with no goals)

My thumb is still killing me! (I should have stuck with the top ten complaints) It's one of the body parts you so take advantage of. It lets you know down right, "you need me for everything."

I'm taking you down!

Someone mentioned I wasn't getting any faster and they are slower than me! They also signed me up for a race Jan 1st. In the race you plunge in the lake at the end and they pre-opted out of that piece... stay tuned.. I think I will beat their time, have a documentary of events, a lot of smack talking... even after a swim I will still come in before them.

See, I train?

Disclaimer -1st indoor running training - usually low concentration skills lead me to be flung from the treadmill but due to competition - I managed. Do not run indoors..

walk purcell walk.. - um, what?

My girlfriend Valpey came to town from NY with her husband and her family has no electricity so I offer up my home (and bed) to them while I sleep on the couch.

Saturday we went and grabbed her grandma and took her out of the retirement home and went for a movie. Then of course, coming in from NY – she had friends and family to see. So Saturday we spent our time grabbing people, and the van just kept getting more and more full.

I also stopped by a friend’s house that had no phone that I needed to check on due to some illness they have in the family – trust me – I am no mother Teresa – cuz this night ends with much Vino and debauchery (that’s an exaggeration but it sounds fun just the same) – since she was visiting. We had many people to meet. Luckily it was all by the bar by my home – all that drinking. BLEEK!

I wake up at 7:30 to my alarm, and a text page, “Are we on for the 5k?” I thought for sure it would be canceled (that is why my Saturday I drank) - but hek yeah! I all of a sudden get really excited... Then whoa, I stood up too fast...3.5 hours sleep and all that Vino. Am I nightmare or what? My head is pulsing. I have quit the drinking down to a glass here or there.. and ZERO before race days.. Damn it! I blame the power outage.

I decided, just getting out there to run 3.1 miles, will be good. I deserve any suffering.

I got the same speech, “I am running this race at my own pace, against my own time, you want to run it, go, but I am not starting in the front”

Me, “Trust me, I am only here to hang out with you and just get a run in.” I believed it when I said it. BUT LIES LIES ALL LIES.

As I stand at the back of the line I begin to feel it. That pulse from adrenaline. Then the realization, “I am behind slow poke Rodriquez (Speedy’s cousin) – and they are multiplying.”

Count down… Five seconds to race – 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.. nobody is moving! (Except the front people who are already a half a mile out!)

There is the ankle timer.. so I try hard not to panic, they said its on the mat which is the size of picnic blanket.. Which part of the mat? The beginning or the end?.. and as I cross over this mat, it’s still a slow walk – They have this monster clock ticking the time clock is all I can see, and I am in slow motion, not in my head but for real – and I can only hear ticking like in the tv show 24– tick, tick, tick (the show its more like tink, tink, tink), I am like I need through these people.. Then I calm myself down for one minute. Then I was off the mat, still walking I went for full on “I am not doing this for nothing!” It’s almost like I blacked out – I do remember politely barreling through people – can you do that politely?.. If so, I am sure I was polite about it… :)

Then boom, I finished 10th out of 150 women – for the 5k.
Should have would have could have… but I tell you, as cranky as I was starting off in back and it not being my best running time..10th isn’t bad – and I literally got to pass everyone but 9 girls! I had a blast.

No more 5k’s for fun. I need to move it up to the 10 to 12ks I need longer distance, and I need to be faster. I swear I am getting slower!

Yo Dog it's the Jingle Bell Run

I go to the jingle bell run and everyone there HEAD to TOE is in red with bells on (literally). Except for my jacket I am dressed all in black -all the way down to my underoos.

This was no ordinary race. This was a cheerful jingling mob!

After the second wave (which we were in) it took about five minutes to get to the start line - then another five for any movement - it was a slow slow walk if that.

I wasn't planning on running this race -I just merely wanted a jaunt... which was impossible!

Finally I edge my way up to sidewalk -which is the picture above and there comes D sprinting right beside me. I was like "ah one way to get him to run fast is to put him behind slow pokes and a hoard of people." We got kicked off the sidewalk for our two minute sprint and back to the mob. I start weaving and waving through people, it was awesome and D is just moving. I wish I could have real times for him because this is the fastest I have seen him move and his stride was much different and he was enjoying passing everyone -I was like "Heavens to Bitsy D is a runner."

no one was passing. it was just a blast

Finally this lady dressed as a christmas package comes sprinting by I look at D and said "I am not going to let that box beat me" so I picked it up. That when spirits were being crushed while I am knocking through reindeers, leaping over dogs, and pushing kids a side all to beat that box, which I did. Then back to FUN..

It felt good to run three miles. There was no pressure. I felt really normal running and just loved it. Then I did my quarter mile sprint in and we waited again entering the finish line in rows for about four minutes to take our tags.


Congrats to Team Dart and Ben for their race. I am in so much regret for missing it. I even stayed in Friday night so I would be all amped to go. Since last weekend body still doesn't love food... Today I ate ok, but I only had a protein shake and cheese fondue. Not much food. Not good for me either. My water is like at zero. That's what is freaking me out.. Like right now I hate water. Who hates water? "I do" no not you that's who were talking about here... I am now going for some nuun to see if that helps...

I JUST BONKED

holy cow.
my week.
Sunday night in Sun Valley November 26 - snowed in -we were in a blizzard. First flight out was Tuesday.

Monday November 27th - made one GLORIOUS day of being stuck in Sun Valley. Snowboarded HARD. Last run by myself. I stood at thet top at 10,000 feet elevation. Got the last ride up on the chair. It was so quiet and i just kept spinning in circles just in aw of the beauty, the best part, I knew I had one hell of ride going straight down, and after two day blizzard, hitting the face of the mt. it was like butter.. carving was barely a sway of the body. board forward and just down with speed (down with the sickness) ...

Tuesday flight canceled. Drove 4 hours to Boise to catch plane.

Tuesday night heavy workout.

Thursday -work and heavy lifting.

Friday December 1st. Glorious private party at the Pink Door. They announced your name when you walked down the stairs and threw gold dust in the air. They had people dressed as Toy monkeys on all the ledges of the wall banging cymbals when they announced your name. They had trapeze, juggglers, topless servers, singers, performers, and incredible wine. I felt like I just entered Vegas. It was really well done -sounds odd, cuz i have zero energy to write, but it was not tacky it was all beautifully done and classy. Then -I ate this little appetizer. I said "is this crab or lobster?" too much hestitation on her part. She said, "crab" then out for the count for two days solid. Couldn't even keep water in. Itchy lips -puffy tongue -and sick sick sick. Lobster and I are not friends.

Then the Beast on Sunday. I will write about after I get some photos and have the energy.

I just went down to starbucks I told them I think I want to just lay down on the ground. They rushed around me (that is what being a good client gets you) telling and had me taking espresso shots straight from the bar. It was like a serious matter. They are like you have five seconds to shoot it. Good to know starbucks can come to the rescue. Still feel like a zombie. But not like I could pass out and that's the important thing. Getting sick and no hydration for two days was AWFUL.
I can't wait for bed. That caffiene will probably kick in then and I will be hacked.

This is my favorite picture of all time AND normally I would wince at sleeping on a rock but I would take it right now rather than having to sit up at my desk. I never feel this bad.. that food thing -missing planes.. no water. . BOOM. I ate and hydrated so much yesterday..

photo by RVG (?) again -favorite photo of all time

Sunday November 26, Sun Valley

I am pumped. Dressed. Ready to go snowboarding.

There are two mountains, dollar – for kids – and Baldy, the Sun Valley Ski Resort.

Both my little nephews are able to go to the big Mountain – when all of sudden Mitch says, “auntie Jill will you teach me to snowboard?”

Mark replies, “remember not until your 9 buddy, I want you to be a great skie first.”

Mitchie, “I can hit every run. And I can’t wait until I am 9 I already asked Santa for a snowboard.”

Mark, “we don’t know that Santa is bringing you a snowboard buddy. Lets ski today.”

Two perspectives going on in my head, One Mitch is truly is a GREAT skier, and we can hit every run possible at the resort, and it would be just a kick ass day for boarding for me. The other is –I want to be with my nephew and I do want him to be a boarder.

Then Mitch says, “Auntie Jill – Will you teach me?”

Then Mark just looks at me, (they always do this with me and Mitch) they let me make the decision. Ultimately he will be my responsibility that day and I will be at dollar.

“Yes.”

So I spend my day – tugging him up half a mountain and then teaching him to board.
Exhausting! On my board I have one foot released when towing him, while he stays in and I physically tow him up part of the hill. Finally he says, “I am ready for the lift.”

Um. This I defer to Mark. He also gave up skiing to be part of this lesson but just on foot.

“Can I go on the lift?”

“It’s up to your Auntie Jill”

“Yes.”

Does this kid really love me, or is he playing me?

“Jill you need to tell them to slow down when getting on, help him on and off the chair”

The first ride went smooth –butter. I also trained him well. Best student to date. Never said, “Can you let up on me?”

I taught him point board downhill, unless stopping.. How to turn – He never will ever know the term “falling leaf” –he was just carving. He got up immediately after a hard fall and questioned what he was doing wrong or needed help. One time he almost fell and started sitting and I yelled (encouraged), “no rag doll, stand up like you do when you skateboard” and he fully got out of his fall and made awesome turns. He did take hard falls but was a great student. He has been in ski lessons and skateboarding since two and fully has no fear – easy peasy!

Then next run, -and I don’t have a lift ticket for Dollar Mt. and the guy won’t let me on the chair. I fully understand, I thought it was going to be a no lift day. However he picks Mitch up and puts him on the chair. Mitch yells “auntie Jill” To the guy I am like” he can’t get off the chair. Can I leave my board? stop the chair.” He is like “no you need a ticket.” The chair continues and Mitch is going on the chair alone. ARGH… so this it the Dollar Mt. I have begging to run up.. well, here I go. The chair goes really slow for kids. And many stops for falls off the lift. I take my board off, and run underneath Mitch. He yells down and he is kind of scared, “Auntie Jill I need to you run faster then my chair. I need to you to help me off the lift.” Does he not know that I am giving it all I got at 7 thousand feet elevation, chasing a chair and a board on my shoulder? He yells down again, “I have seen you run faster than that.”

I make it just in time to see him get off the chair – and we boarded down.

Talk about a workout.

I have Landed in SV - Friday Nov 24

I finally make it to Sun Valley and get in the car about 8pm. My sister and
family look wiped out. I'm amped up. I am ready for motivation book camp with my
sister. As I'm looking around the car and they are listless. And what's worse
is we are heading straight to their house. Panicked, "what about running up
dollar?" Elise, "did it." "Late night sledding?" "We did it?" "Weights?" "Done. "
"No. No. No. That's why I'm here. Workout. You’re my motivation. I'm in training.
I've been bragging. You guys are my Nike commercial. My sister points to her
husband, herself, and my nephews with a circular motion and says "This Nike
commercial starts at 4am and ends at 8pm. Your a budlite commercial!" I protest
"No. I did everything to get here. The bird. Remember the bird? One run?" She
says half joking, "Mark. Stop the car she can run home. " They laugh. But as
soon as my two nephews heard the news you would have thought they we're about
to watch the Olympics. Their little arms shot in the air. They began to cheer.
"Auntie Jill is running home!!!!" (and if any of you have nephews are nieces you
know you will do anything to be the hero. You are not passed bribery, endless toys
or cash flow - so when their eyes lit up. I start taking off my jacket. They stop the car.

Mark's says, "what's shoe are you wearing?
"Uggs."
"Don't do it. May cost you a day of boarding."
To me. No brainer. Nephews? So Elise and Mark start laughing as I exit the car.
Elise is like, “other side of the road where there is a sidewalk. "
So there they are following me. Opposite side of the road. Same direction all windows down.

I started out too fast. Probably my fastest sprint to date and the finish line was not a quarter mile out. Mark yells out, "you started way too fast out of the gate you will never keep this pace."
All laughter in the car.

Except Mitch. He screams, "Auntie Jill in twenty yards you will turn
left on a corner. You have a long down hill you can keep this pace."

I'm trying but my lungs are on fire. What is wrong? Little to no air in entering my
lungs but I keep thinking down hill coming. And then there it is. Glorious! My
stride even quickens. But lung status same.

Mark yells out the window again, "how does 6 thousand feet feel on the lungs?"

more laughter.

Then it’s Clint’s turn, "Auntie Jill your butt jiggles when you run" and the car stops. I look back to see them now gasping for air and laughing in hysterics. So now I have three
hecklers and one love completely routing for me.

My downhill is about to end the car comes back up and still just laughter. I want to laugh with him but breathing is sharper.

Mitch leans over Clint out the window and yells, "Auntie Jill after
the light there is a trail. You will even beat my dad home. Trust the trail it
gets really dark..” And sure enough I see the trail. AWESOME! I hear marks car speeding up to beat me. Mitch yells again, “It ends up at by our house. It will get really
dark." And the car is almost too far in the distance but I hear, "I love you
Auntie Jill. Trust the trail.........”

I am still sprinting and that big light is illuminating the sky. So I still feel great. But the trail isn't ending. Then true to his words it went completely dark. Black. And all I hear in my head "trust the trail.” So I am running blindly. And then there finally there is light again
from their home. I still have a bit to go but I hear the lights and the sound of a car.
I'm close. I just come out the trail right in front of their car.

Elise, Mark, and Clint are still laughing. Elise said “I can’t remember laughing that hard!”

Mitchie got out of the car to high five me.
I would do anything to make him smile. I love him! I would also do anything to make my family laugh.

I can't sleep

I told myself only blog when I exercise.. . but it's 1:23 am and I can't sleep (well I can never sleep) but I have these thoughts in my head so in order to blog I had to jog in place for five minutes and do 3 jumping jacks... It would have been way more but I kicked the chair... My legs are longer than I thought.. Why can't I run faster? Anyway that is not why I was jogging in place for that question. I was thinking about what pedals AV had on his bike when he was riding and then I thought about that bird that was killed today by the plane - I assume it didn't survive... oh my gosh I need sleep and better depth perception that killed my toe.
jumping jacks...
does anybody really ever do them any more?

laughing and crying at the same time

I got up early this morning, packed, and then went for an incredible workout -not so I could feel guilt free on thanks giving -but the workout was a preliminary to a long weekend with my sister in Sun Valley, who is non stop play hard girl and you just got to be prepared.

We had plans to snowshoe up dollar mt. late night after dinner, tomorrow snowboard by day following an early early morning sledding with the boys (my adorable nephews)- they also ski while we board. She loves hitting the gym, then running, taking the boys late night ice skating, back to snow shoeing.. and next day repeat!

Also her love for fine food, wine and the spa makes it even more glorious.

I hop out of the car at the airport literally dragging my bag, with all its snowboard gear and electronics it is heavier then me . I get to the counter and give the lady my confirmation and she said, "The plane was hit by a bird -and the plane was damaged. No flights out." I'm kind of in shock and say, "Like a flipping Terradactyl (pterodacty?) What bird could possibly destroy a plane?" ."

Then she went on to say, "Tomorrow we can put you on Delta's plane... and then her words just went blurry when it got to about three or four transfers with multiple carriers.

I am grateful (and most importantly)
1. no one was hurt
2. That I wasn't on that plane when the it was hit by a bird..

I want my sister's contagious non stop NIKE commercial life. I would love to be with my little nephews and my sister. My other sister is at Whistler. If I had any car but a mini I would be driving right now to whistler…

I am trying again tomorrow! I need motivation...to run... or just run so I get motivated

5k vs 50K

Sunday, November 19, 2006

I am so proud of Hart! Holy cow! Just taking the 50k down!

I am saddened to say my 5k (which just merely a 0 off) was disastrous.

I am sick as a dog, had a small accident, and I do EVERYTHING but rest. The exact opposite advice of my coach (lesson learned "good grasshopper")

It was pouring! Pouring! Pouring! I couldn't sleep at all Saturday night so I watched Saw 2 until 2:30 am -to awake at 7 (and the words awake is to be taken lightly because there was never a real sleep).

Razor blades of fire are in my throat.

But this is when I think "Do you really bow out of 5k race for the sniffles, achy and lack of sleep or am I being a pansy?"However this was Ben first run (I think he said since he was a track star in school) and I knew he was driving a long way to get there. I kept saying "should I run with you guys, should I run?" just yeep yeep yeep of whiner.

D was like where the hek is your competitive nature? Well it came out alright, but not for my own race but for the boys crossing the finish line.

So I think, well just good practice of suffering and being miserable. Just run, don't stop. I think it was slowest time yet to date at 9 minute mile.

As I ran something instantly felt pushed on my toe, and thoughts again "do you really stop for 3 miles.. just keep going?" and I could feel the blood sloshing -the only way I knew the difference from the water in my shoes was it was warmer. I hate to say it - but once I accepted the pain I welcomed the warmness. Blood or not.

At the end. they began to announce they were pulling down the finish cones and getting ready for the tots (and this where the competitive nature came in)

I thought I was being motivation and inspirational but apparently D and Ben said I sounded different.

My perspective.. when I heard the race was a near end, I ran backwards trying to find the boys.

D's perspective - He was telling Ben that is was most important to pace himself at this point because he needed to exert his efforts and run over the finish line. I ran up to them and simply said "go go go, they are taking down the finish, sprint it out, sprint it out and began running beside them still speaking (they said yelling).

D and Ben's perspective "you f-ers. hurry up. The finish line is almost down and the tots are running what are you picnic-ing for? RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN" either way you have it, they ran it out. D said his pep talk to Ben was all for not with my "motivational speech."

He was surprised to hear my time. I then without completely whining and waiting for the most appropriate time (over dinner) took off my shoe. He was like "holy sh+t" he said that couldn't happen today. Your toe looks like a hammer hit it. The skin around the toe is missing too with a blood blister to boot. I am used to toe injuries; this is an all new breed.

we had that age old question, "why risk that for 3 miles? or do say how can you quit when you know it's only 3 miles?"

today I sucked. shamed.

Pineapple Classic

and it was Classic Nov 11

My team was fantastic. I will add more when I get some photos.

We sprinted our hearts out, only to be stopped at a 30 minute obstacle.
I had to be gently reminded by my teammates., it was for fun.
This looked like the best obstacle AND it was for fun - not the olympics.

Anyway we had to carry a pineapple at all times. I would have loved more obstacles.
No backpacks were allowed to carry the pineapple.

So as I climb up a rope-y square something, I kept getting details how to do it. I wanted to whisper back, you should see me flip over a barbed wire fence... our soccer team we often kicked the ball over the fence and it was my favorite to jump over the fastest - this talent also got me handcuffed when I was 22 years old and at a Vegas Dead Show for climbing the fence - no one was even over yet and I landed on the other side, and I was like face to face with the police - who eventually let me go when the mob finally reached the top and the fence fell... any way.. I didn't even want to climb the fence, or break in but when i saw the race for the fence, something (competitive) snapped in me. (and trust me I don't feel like a winner when I realized the rest of the crowd was lacking shoes, on heavy drugs, and were eating the grill cheese at the same time)

anyway back to the pineapple.. finally we decided to stick it in my hood, so from the back I look like a yellow jacket headless girl with pineapple leaves -stems -or whatever they were.

It was great fun.

I loved my teammates. I will post pictures as soon as I get them

now this is friendship

Thursday November 9th

My workout got hijacked by a salsa teacher when entering my gym. She said, "Jill come to salsa it wil be fun." me always the yes man (it's the number one rule of improv -always say yes and live in the moment -unless it's immoral. ) And since the very last time I did salsa I had the biggest workout of my life, so I thought this would be fun. As it turned out it was fun but not a workout. Afterward I rode indoor bike for 35 minutes to work up a sweat.

Then I remember 10 things different about my salsa class at Laura's party

1. I had just broken my elbow
2. It was the hottest day of the year July 23 -wearing a cast
3. Sweating my ass off because of the cast
4. Took zero pain medicine so I could have a drink - causing sweat to bead on my brow and upper lip
5. My nerves in my arm felt raw and I wanted to be fun - that is about 200 calories right there - smiling when you want to die
6. Did I mention I my arm was broken and in a cast? :)
7. After our lesson we created a bunny hop salsa dance practice
8. It was a hard cast so I couldn't touch my face or lift a drink with my left arm which makes it hard to double fist or to do tequila shots
9. I didn't bitch one time because it was my friends party and I think holding in swear words when your in pain can cause you to use extra energy.
10. But alas I have true friends so when they watched me struggle with my dilema- I couldn't put salt on my left hand or bring a shot class to my mouth with left hand- they followed suit -

belly belly

tonights workout we rocked.
heavier weights and no relaxing in between ... again hitting every body part and frying them.
then my ab report - wish there was music to this piece.. cuz it's my focus.. and I want to see if it will make a difference.. not the music, the ab workout..
I will try again
and then the ab report "du du du dua du.."
doesn't work
any way
kings chair - 105
round ball sit ups 120
and crunches 150

i kind of feel my stomach muscles are seperated from my ribs..or is that the way it always is.. either way.. i hurt...

then rode the indoor bike for 35 minutes with a 5 minute cool down.

i need more. more. more

Trauma

AV broke his leg Saturday riding his rode bike turning a corner. I went to visit him in Harbor View last night. It was so sad. He looked awful (I hope he doesn't read my blog) but most of all, you could feel a spirit crushed. One that has many races planned ahead and most importantly, running, biking, swimming, anything adventure or racing is his life. I usually have something to say but I had nothing. Nothing except, “glad you’re not dead." I am sure those were the most non comforting words one can hear because it means that is the only thing that is worse is death. Which isn’t true, its just the only thing that came out of my mouth.

And if to make his trauma any worse, they put him next to a guy who was either yelling on the phone, yelling at the nurse and doctor, or making awful noises. Why would they put two trauma patients together? Yes Aaron would be the ideal roommate so the other person could gather their thoughts but this guy was a maniac.

I finally just broke and said, "I know it's about your leg but that guy is killing me. I don't know how you can take him. I hate him." Aaron slowly reaches for an ear plug and lifts it. He then says, "It doesn't really help"

So when I left I felt ill. He was white. I was white. The place was lonely yet full of extremely hurt people -and the involuntary psych ward.

When I walked into the room, I didn’t even look at the first patient to give all the privacy I could. Then after hearing him yelling at the dr. I knew I had to check him out. He was screaming “I am not staying here. I am running out of here. I am giving you an ultimatum. I need to walk now. I am leaving.” While the dr. politely said, “We don’t want you moving, esp. walking and we can review again in the morning.”

So given the drama in the trauma room, I walked out slowly full on staring at his roommate.

“GREAT GASP-Y!” the guy had broken neck, back and skull. He was in so many braces, he looked locked down to the bed. He couldn’t even lift his head up. I thought why this Dr. is even wasting his time telling him he can’t leave? My reply would be– “if you really think you can walk out of here, you are welcome to go.” –um, that could be why I am not a Dr. But still! It was rather comic like - a very FAR SIDE image.

I keep thinking about it so I went for a workout at lunch to get it off my mind.
I went to abs class
Afterwards I did 60 king chair
And a hundred on the ball crunches.

Still have that lonely awful image of that room and AV.

feast or famine

Sitting at Kevin and Julie's home years ago with D we viewed pictures of Kevin and Julie climbing Mt. Rainer - I wish I saw those pictures today I would have an even more appreciation for them. (That sentence would be beautifully followed by a "because after I climbed Mt. Rainer I could really appreciate their perseverance) but instead my appreciation comes from “after I climbed dollar mountain in snowshoes I know what suffering is” -its climbing the bunny hill for kids in Sun Valley.

However when viewing their pictures Kevin and Julie all bundled up and Julie was missing her ski goggles D says, "Why aren't you wearing goggles?" Kevin replies, "she lost hers." and d said "dude that is messed up. You should have given yours to her." and I can simply say at that moment, in my heart of hearts I know D would have given me his goggles. He would pass over his PFD, his air in oxygen tank and to any woman drowning on the boat D would step aside and give his spot in the rescue boat. BUT there is one thing for sure he won't die of, and that is starvation. If its you or him that gets the last supper, trust me, it's him.

Today at the gym he says "you look weak, what did you eat today?" I said, "Nothing." he replies "that’s not smart. You need to eat. Don't lift anymore I am grabbing you a power bar." I thought wow I must look bad, I am stressed haven't slept since Friday, can't really eat, D is making this look like 911 and he comes back unwraps the bar and looks at it and serious chomped not only the first bite but like 80 percent of it.

I had this other experience with him once before when there was no food in the home and we had one little lasagna to heat up. Well after he began eating it, he waved his hand over mouth, like indication "very hot very very hot" cuz my number one hate in life is burning my tongue. Then he continued to eat it quite rapidly and doing that thing in your mouth when it's too hot, you almost like eat and breath air in so its not touching anything in your mouth, that is when I got suspicious -his acting skills were weak, and there I was looking at near empty lasagna. So I dove in and it was luke warm (at best).

However I will give credit where credit is due and he kicked my ass again in the gym. Our workout was the most difficult yet. Hitting every body part, tripled our lunges, and doubled our stomach work out. I let go of a lot of stress, was able to eat and I will sleep tonight, if I can get my legs to quit twitching.

RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

I ran last night in the rain and mud and loved it.I love running in the trails. It was a short run about 4.6 miles in 50 minutes. two stops. pee (see is ths important?) well maybe and matt mentioned my shoes were untied. the only shoes without yanks.

I did also come with a million outfits and was like "ok, I know part of the training doesn't come with clothing decisions but I refused to be too COLD or TOO HOT for a teammate perspective - which was crazy cuz when we met I was a wee late...and he was standing in the rain. He ran there.. um, I drove to run.

So I told him, "i think i would rather be someone well prepared and not be changing ... like last beast my leg warmers fell down and literally over my shoes I suffered through it, and i had a sweater issue (it was really a jacket)... but next race, no outfit problems. i can suffer thru cold or if I can switch and run, but I am working all this out befor racing"

however, my goals for races and life seem so simple.
be prepared clothes wise.
never give up
shoes laces won't happen again
those leg warmers OUT
and have fun with my friends when running or racing
run more with my sister
get on my bike
have fun and only chose people to train with the same way i would chose a poker or drinking buddy, someone fun (and funny), nice, honest and speaks highly of their friends.
all this is for fun, yes? I am having a blast.

one last thing, i must admit I love over prepared then under prepared (except for prime rib) but my point, going from 15 to 50 miles on a mt bike, yes accomplishment, but it would have been nice to be comfortable riding a lot longer. It just put fire under me and all of sudden I can't get out and ride or run enough - it's dreary out and I workout today.... will it be in the gym.. or outside..I vote outside.. I shall see what happens.

I have a benefit tomorrow night I rallied performers for. I love benefits. Fund Raisers. I love it. To run for a good cause, now that is a great idea... I LOVE IT ALL.

Hart also sent me a great email today and I am all fired up.